Thursday, March 7, 2013

I Was Born Way Too Soon


 









A new female condom is coming on the market.

The FC2 Female Condom is made with a soft material for quieter use. Its original version failed to gain a foothold in the U.S. marketplace because it was noisy to use, as well as too expensive.

Too noisy? Hell, why not make them even noiser, but with better sounds?

How about the Flight Of The Valkyries? Or something wet and squishy, like rubber boots slogging through the mud of a rice paddy?

18 comments:

GirlFromTheBronx said...

Laughing really, really hard right now. Send the wine another day. I needed that.

quinn the eskimo said...

Hope they come in LP.

gasket said...

Man, I hope I'll be able to get the phrase "rubber boots slogging through the mud of a rice paddy" out of my head someday.

GirlFromTheBronx said...

Gasket, I had to give a listening exam after reading this post. While playing Wagner's Wesendonck Lieder for my students, what comes strolling into my brain? Yep, you got it- squishy,wet, slogging rubber boots...
Oy, wat a day!

quinn the eskimo said...

Hey Gasket, did I ever tell you about the time when I was a kid and rubber boots slogging through the mud of a rice paddy, and then we got on our bikes?

gasket said...

LOL, GFTB! I know it'll happen to me someday, far into the future, when I thought I had forgotten, when I am least expecting it. I just hope I don't hurt myself when I start laughing.

Love the Ruth Brown, quinn, and am eternally grateful that you transformed the sound-image into another image altogether. Why didn't I think of that?

Billy, you're hilarious. That makes me think of Madeline Kahn in Young Frankenstein.

Decidere said...

What's with all this hard slogging going on around here? You folks seem to have gotten blogged down. Where are the Deltas I used to know?

Somehow my slow-release Viagra extensions for FC3 didn't make it to the Hive - that would have been a picker upper.

A woman needs a man like Quinn's fish story needs a bicycle?

Billy Glad said...

Kahn and Brooks. Just wonderful.

Tom Manoff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
quinn the eskimo said...

When I was in Junior High, we had a name for people like Coulter: Teacher.

Billy Glad said...

Coulter is hot. Like Palin. I want them at the Chelsea Hotel. Extinguish their mental faculties completely. On the FC3 soundtrack, my favorite opera: Mighty Mouse. "Here I come to save the day!"

Tom Manoff said...

I deleted that because of a tie-po. Sorry. Should have been:

I saw Janis Joplin in the lobby of the Chelsea once. She was having a smoke. My friend Rick went up to her to pay his respects. She wouldn't or couldn't utter a word. He claimed that she tried, but it was the night after a concert and she had no voice.

Billy Glad said...

I knew her a little in Austin. I think it was 1962. I left school the next Spring. She used to bang on an autoharp and belt out work songs in the cafe of the Student Union at UT. Before Threadgils. When I got back to the states in 1967, she was Janis. I remember seeing her face on an album. Took me some time to remember who she was. She was unlucky.

Antepilani said...

I totally missed out on Rock and Roll...I got in just to hear the death rattle.

Where is the Misty Mountain Hop? Where is the Smoke on the Water?

Kiss in the Kingdome?

Everything now is beer and lifestyle music.

I got the leftovers of the Stones and the other ancients just grinding it out to make a living.

Billy Glad said...

Sounds like you were born too late. On the other hand, my son, who is about your age, got to climb a tree and sit right over the stage at an outdoor Talking Heads concert when he was a kid. On the way out, we saw people slam dancing.

Decidere said...

You get born as many times as you need or want, so hell's bells, you can groove into bebop and Renaissance and Tuvan throat singing and mariachi. Beat that stick on the banks of the river and wade on it, it doesn't stop at Benares, that's just where people do their laundry. All the way to the sea.

Antepilani said...

Once in a lifetime...

Tom Manoff said...

Keep on Orpheus. Set loose those Maenads on fearful flesh. Make those crazy girls sing backup to your own mad song.