Friday, April 17, 2009

Annals Of The Waterboard (The Opera)

2:00 AM. Bush meets Cheney in the hallway of a cell block. Bush is carrying a surfboard. Marine guards snap to attention as Bush approaches.

Cheney: What the hell is that?

Bush: My surfboard.

Cheney: What an asshole. I said we were waterboarding tonight.

Bush: Whoa! You can't call POTUS an asshole. (To the Marines in the hall.) Grab hold of him. (Bush throws the surfboard on the floor.) Hold him down on that!

Cheney: Goddam it, George, stop fucking around.

Bush: I'll show you some fucking around. Somebody get me some water and a rag.

Tutti cantano insieme:

The Marines: Sir! Aye, Aye! Sir!

Cheney: Don't board me, George!

Bush: Tube City! Damn! Turn him over now!

19 comments:

Antepilani said...

That's the spirit!

Here's the cast of characters:

Bush
Cheney
Powell
Rice
Rove
Rumsfeld (Renfield)

I'm seeing a golf pro/am with them paired with other historical figures. I want something like Tin Cup meets Silence of the Lambs

Dazzle me

quinn the eskimo said...

Silence of the Tin Lamb.Ok, maybe I'm not quite clear on the concept.

MIGUEL FUENTES GUSTAV JONES said...

'The Cup of silence'.. It's all ready been done, but I dare say could be improved with surfing vignettes ala 'Blue Crush' interspersed with scenes of waterboarding Dick C.

Billy Glad said...

Whoa! Tube City!

quinn the eskimo said...

I wanna see the George AND Bush girls waterboard Cheney.

Oh yeah. It's been done.Piguelito-dude! Good to see ya. Sorry, all those surfing scenes made me go all Go Go.

MIGUEL FUENTES GUSTAV JONES said...

"all those surfing scenes made me go all Go Go"
Wait till we get the footage of Dick C. getting pounded onto unadorned coral by a 30 footer.

Billy Glad said...

What's the opera notation to show that Sir. Aye, Aye. Sir; Don't board me, George! and Tube City! are all sung at the same time?

Antepilani said...

Final pairings for the golf tournament:

Rove/Wilde
Cheney/Shelly
Powell/Cassandra
Rice/Ho Chi Mihn
Rumsfeld/Iago
Bush/Guevara

GirlfromtheBronx said...

Italian expression markings can be used even if the opera is in English.

Tutti:
or
Tutti cantano insieme:

The Marines: Sir! Aye, Aye! Sir!
Cheney: Don't board me, George!
Bush: Tube City!

Billy,
This may help as you proceed!

Billy Glad said...

Is this a classy little Hive or what?

GirlfromtheBronx said...

Yes, mucho classy!
By the way, Billy, I'm getting kind of jealous of SeƱor Jones' name, so if I ever get to play a role in one of your operas, my stage name will be GirlfromthebronxChamissoGomezdeVanegas
Got that?

Billy Glad said...

I'll definitely remember that!

MIGUEL FUENTES GUSTAV JONES said...

Chica de la Bronx, as anyone from the outer boroughs with a CK undergarments model avatar should know, my username is purely a fiction designed to deflect those pesky internet stalkers I've read so much about in the poplar press. In fact my real name is Miguel Gustav de las Fuentes Jones... Oh damn! Now I've really screwed things up...

Tom Manoff said...

Don't call me Madoff

GirlfromtheBronx said...

That would be Chica DEL Bronx, as anyone with the name Miguel Gustav de las Fuentes Jones should know. Haha.

Miguel de las Santerias Jones said...

Asked my friend, Lou. He says it's definitely 'de la Bronx'.

Billy Glad said...

Lou Reed. Only song still makes me want to put on my sailor's suit and cap and get high.

GirlfromtheBronx said...

I'm going with this chica.

Tom Manoff said...

169th and the Grand Concourse, chica....