Monday, June 1, 2009

Hive Interrupted

The Science Hive needs our help. They want us to help the Smithsonian Museum monitor life on earth.

As if we don't have enough to do. We're already monitoring the flu formerly known as swine, the weather around the globe, fasts, and a couple of radio programs. Now they want us to keep track of everything else, too.

The Smithsonian used to keep track of ephemeral events, but I can't find any record of that program. Guess it was ephemeral and nobody noticed it passing.

11 comments:

Decidere said...

I'll take Brownian Motion and the Coriolis Effect as my little bit. And will pick up litter off a stretch of highway. Anything for Science.

basking kafka said...

Oh goody. Big Brother Twitters.

There remain some truths too ephemeral to be captured in the cold pages of a book made by man, but hey, distractions take up a lot of alloted time.

Knowing the dark side of human nature locked inside a hive, (saw the near classic "King Rat" this weekend) I'm looking forward to moving onto the astral plane.

Decidere said...

Cue up Queen and Jonathan Richman, gonna be musical thread.

Billy Glad said...

I'll take blondes, The Republican Party and the Global Jihad. Mansky is going to keep track of Safeway doors. As for the astral plane, BK, bring on the nukes.

GirlfromtheBronx said...

I'm just a musician. Don't no nothin' about astral planes. But while we're on the subject BK, and thanks for mentioning it, this is a perfect cue for me to share a true story.

When I was in college, I had this friend who I thought was gay, but he hadn't quite "come out." Or at least, I thought he hadn't. One day, he pulled me aside and because he had something he needed to tell me.

After a minute or two of preparatory explanations and reasoning he ended up saying something like he was so much more at peace with himself and felt as if he had made the right choice for his life's path, etc. He concluded by saying "I've decided that I'm Bi." So I congratulated him and told him how happy I was that he was able to arrive at his decision, etc.

But somewhere, as we continued to speak, I must have repeated the phrase that he was "BI." So he looks at me and says, "I'M NOT BI, I'm a BAHA'I!" I said, "What the fuck is a Baha'i?" We laughed for hours. Apparently he was not a closet gay, but a very out of the closet Baha'i.

I'll take The Gay Baha'is, they're an ephemeral bunch and in my spare time, I'll take the Hard of Hearing, for obvious reasons.

basking kafka said...

Girl, that's a funny story. Thanks.

Billy, the potter Bernard Leach was of the Baha'i persuasion.

Musical Alert:

Since Billy took all the good ones, I take the Juan Perons.

In the beginning of Act II of Evita, right before “Don't Cry for Me Argentina,” the crowds are cheering Juan and Eva Peron on the triumphal night of Peron's inauguration as president.

One voice offers a hint of dischord: “As a mere observer of this tasteless phenomenon--” observes the narrator “Che”. But he is stopped. Guards approach. He starts screaming with the crowd, to no avail, as he is carted off to jail. Throughout Act II, the crowds keep cheering as voices of opposition are quietly removed from the scene.

“Now, that Juan Peron,” said 'Carl' in a recent episode of The Simpsons, “When he disappeared you, you stayed disappeared.”

Billy Glad said...

Well, I was thinking of disrupting their project with komogator alerts -- komos in my garden, komos fucking and screaming all night long in the alley -- but now I'm wondering if it's safe to fuck with the Smithsonian. Don't want to end up ephemeral myself, you know.

quinn the eskimo said...

You people are being deliberately obtuse. Or abstruse. Maybe chartreuse. Anyway. Look, local citizens in Britain turned out to have been world-class data-gatherers on climate change. They tracked and noted - obsessively - bits of info on birds and plants and the first blossom and first egg and first sighting and all that, running back for centuries. Information which the scientists didn't have. Turns out to have been really useful. There's only so much you can do with ice cores and that.

And now, here at the home of citjour or citroen or citdown, what do I find? Mockery.

Well. Mock on, mockers.

Splutter.

Decidere said...

Are you looking askance at my Coriolis work? Or should I rewrite Coriolanus and Browning instead? One minute he's Canadian, and the next minute he's obsessively British.

quinn the eskimo said...

Leave it to Des to reduce an effort to save the Earth to a petty, nationalistic quarrel.

It's actually quite a rare day, Des, when I say something positive about the British. And rarer still when I compare them positively to our fine neighbours to the South. In this very case, as a matter of fact, I happen to prefer American insanity to British obsessiveness.

But in an effort to avoid future misunderstanding, I'm happy to state outright and upfront that I believe the British people are only superior to Americans in 3, maybe 4, dimensions:

- Intelligence.
- Civility.
- Fighting Spirit.
- Blue-Eyed Soul.

And maybe size of genitalia. Yeah, probably that too. The rest, America, is yours.

Now. Can we get back to the issue at hand?

Decidere said...

Hey, it's just like adding Wikipedia pages or volunteering your computer to help calculate Pi to some ungodly precision, only *this* is intelligent work. I think I'm particularly cut out for this one, "studying DNA genetic samples of birds sucked into jet engines".