Sunday, March 10, 2013


The quinn was saying: "And not sure who you COULD trust in this kind of situation." And me just home from the experience of 5 hours of small-town American healthcare, watching my wife work her way through nurse practicioners, X-ray techs, X-rays and cat scans after her car was hit from the rear by an uninsured driver. She'll be fine.

When we first moved to this little town, a neighbor recommended the clinic we go to. It's run by a religious organization. All of the doctors are missionaries who base here but travel to the underdeveloped world to heal the sick and spread the word of the Lord.

In the waiting rooms I sat in yesterday, I saw loops of Doctor Gupta explaining lung cancer, Wolf Blitzer reporting on the Iranian riots, and a painting of Jesus, guiding the hand of a surgeon. I thought the painting was the most interesting. I couldn't help imagining different versions of it and variations on its theme.

Maybe we could add Moses and Mohammed to the painting. Show Jesus and the other prophets -- peace be unto them -- jostling one another and arguing about how to guide the doctor's hand.

Or, we could show them guiding other hands. The bombadier's hand as he drops bombs on Pearl Harbor, Hiroshima or Dresden. Or the executioner's hand as he tightens a noose, lights a fire or slits a throat. How about a guiding hand at the gas chambers and ovens?

It must be comforting to believe that every slip of the knife is God's will.


Tom Manoff said...

May the Lord grant us all Health Insurance to back up His Divine Will.

quinn the eskimo said...

I think the other guys better back up when it comes to Jesus and the fine work - you know, neurosurgery and such. I've seen 1000 pictures of Jesus hands, and I donno, I just find them trustworthy. They glow.

Now, when it comes to needing something beaten outta the patient, that's Moses turf. Dude's always got that staff happenin'. But that's more physio I guess.

I donno about Mohammed. Just haven't seen enough video of the guy. Didn't he fly, though? I'd go to him for a wing transplant.

Specialization. Teamwork.

Antepilani said...

"For fuck sake man, get a gown on, scrub your hands and get a mask..."

"While your in here, why don't you just resurrect this dude up off the table so I can make my 12:40 tee time..."

"OHHHH...we've got Jesus Christ here with us today...what are you laughin' at? You get on your knees you be his disciple!"

"My hands are steady, because I warmed up with some Call of Duty 4 on my XBOX in the doctor's lounge before I came in, and I have been doing this for years"

Decidere said...

12:43, Jesus denied entry into the Emergency Ward, lack of insurance accreditation.

12:57, Jesus readmitted as deceased patient, roll away the stone.

But what would Guptha do, oh what would Guptha do?

Billy Glad said...

Jesus: You killed him, Doc.
Trapper John: Are you off duty, Jesus?

Antepilani said...

Repetition of a motion to achieve dexterous perfection.

Working on people is like working on any other object; (cars or electronics) just because the object can die or squirts fluid when you press on it doesn't make it any different. Right?

Do you really need to be smart to be a surgeon? Don't we all have the capacity to learn (assuming you aren't debilitated in some way) anything. It is the rate at which we learn that defines our intelligence.

Rote memorization, pattern recognition, practical application